The little yellow man in my head!

2006-12-10T11:41:00.000-05:00

So weird....my mother found this website last week. Not so bad. I don't think I've really said anything on here that I need to worry about. And what I feel the need to get out of my system right now she probably would be thrilled about.
I think I'm coming to realize that fake "highs" and really stupid. Like, I don't like drinking anymore. What's the point? I'm drunk for maybe a half hour and then the next morning my stomach bothers me. So some are like "yeah but you can hook up when you're drunk and not need to worry about it". I wont lie. That used to be appealing to me but last night when I had the oppurtunity I decided not to. Maybe it's because I'm starting to realize that I'm beginning to have feelings for someone real. Even if nothing happens with it I know I fuck up my chances by just hooking up randomly. I know what he's looking for and luckly it's the person I've been working on being since I moved out of Rocky's apartment. So this new information about myself sort of sucks because it means that the mindless partying wont really be so much fun for me anymore but it sort of rocks because it also means that I'm growing up and out of the things that I have been letting hurt me.

2006-08-11T13:14:00.000-04:00

nervous nervous nervous.....

Oh by the way, they turned the student lounge into a couple of shrink offices. Well, they say guidance. I say "oh fuck". I'm out just in time.

2006-08-10T21:58:00.000-04:00

We Shall See

2006-08-06T22:35:00.000-04:00

Just a day just an ordinary day.....

but thats the problem isnt it?

Just trying to get by.....

the first step

Just a dream just an ordinary dream

Will you use your personal power

2006-08-06T05:51:00.000-04:00

Oh the tangled webs we weave

And at 5:47 and the fact that I just got home and the night that I had.....
Tangled is an understatement.
The understatement of the year.

2006-08-03T21:51:00.000-04:00

The new theory is that I will never be good enough for those two so the rest of them that come alone I will do whatever I can to please them. There needs to be someone of their kind who thinks I'm perfect.....oh and who doesn't just want the obvious.

2006-08-01T19:11:00.000-04:00

There has been a lot going on latley. I'm just trying to believe it'll all be okay. It might. It might not.
Hmm

2006-07-31T18:11:00.000-04:00

As the world falls away and I can't find a reason
As the world turns to grey
It's killing me willingly and I am just the same as you

When you blink it'll all be over.

2006-07-27T23:22:00.000-04:00

You lost your chance.....

Maybe

2006-07-24T22:57:00.000-04:00

some say love it is a river that drowns the tender reads
some say love it is a rasor that leaves the soul to bleed
some say love it is a hunger an endless breaking need
some say love it is a flower and you its only seed
its the heart afraid of breaking that never learns to dance
its the dream afraid of waking that never takes the chance
its the one who wont be taken who cannot seem to give
and the soul afraid of dying that never learns to live
and the night has been to lonley
and the road has been to long
and you think that love is only for the lucky and the strong
just remember in the winter far beneath the bitter snow
lies a seed that with the suns love in the spring becomes a rose

2006-07-24T18:07:00.000-04:00

Have you ever?

2006-07-24T15:07:00.000-04:00

So sick of it.

The concert was good though.

2006-07-20T12:57:00.000-04:00

Losing my mind very slowly. What the hell is going on with my head today? It keeps spinning around and around one topic. Is it even that important? So much on my mind with such a little thing. It really is a little thing and I'm not making it into a big thing I'm just.....
Just want to know
and if not, I want to know why

2006-07-20T08:00:00.000-04:00

You don't need to worry. That's not what they want from me. It never is........

2006-07-12T23:35:00.000-04:00

When I get excited about something and then it doesn't happen I tend to let it screw with my head. I get all depressed and I stop talking to people. But I always have someone.
So if tonight I don't choose for you to be that someone. Don't be offended. You will be some day soon.
I love you.

2006-07-09T22:32:00.000-04:00

I hate it when people fight.

2006-07-09T03:31:00.000-04:00

We sign our love notes " I love you so much. I always will"
But will you always?

2006-07-09T03:23:00.000-04:00

It's been forever since I posted on this but I feel like I need to. There is a cut on my thumb. It kills like crazyy. I can see the blood because it is bleeding but there's a layer of skin right over it. I see it and feel it bleeding but there's nothing I can do about it.
It's crazy because that's exactly how I feel right now. I feel like there is a cut somewhere inside of me. I can feel it but the blood just wont poor out. Do you think that after you feel such an intense emotion that it's possible to ever feel it again?
No good night kiss. Tonight I'm on my own.

2006-01-01T23:33:00.000-05:00

Just betrayed......Whether it's true or not. It's there.

2005-12-29T22:24:00.000-05:00

So um, it was a good night for me.
Moving on...
Doing some soul searching for the past don't know how long and I was just thinking about like what it is that drives people to do what they do. I'm not necesarilly talking about drugs or sex but like what gives the person the drive to work and study? I mean I know for me is more of a level of addiction than drive. Like saying that someone is addicted to working hard in some classes or addicted to getting an A is the same as saying I'm addicted to some certain guys and doing some certain things with them. But I don't think that works for some reason. Well anyway, if there's a way for someone to like start slacking off in school then there must be some way for me to start slacking off with guys. You know, like stop doing things I guess.

2005-12-29T12:55:00.000-05:00

Please don't tell me that I'm actually staying home alone or babysitting on New Years eve. Why don't we just buy me a t-shirt that says "worlds biggest loser" and then strangle me with it?

2005-12-27T14:07:00.000-05:00

I don't know how this is happening but a couple of hours ago I got consumed by this tense anger and I'm having a lot of trouble shaking it off. Sometimes I wish I knew what was wrong with me but I know the only way to find out is to go to a shrink. I have a feeling that if they knew what was wrong with me they would want to put me on medication. Part of me wants it but part of me feels like being on meds means never feeling life for real. But the question is, am I really feeling it now?

2005-12-25T14:31:00.000-05:00

I guess that one of my biggest problems is that if my father isn't happy I somehow let it effect the way I feel about everything going on. I can be in the best mood in the world and then call him and if he sounds at all like down then there becomes this small dark void in me. I guess that's what happened today.

2005-12-18T21:31:00.000-05:00

No other way to put it. Since he died I've been slowly losing my mind. I just keep becoming more and more depressed and I feel so alone.

2005-12-04T20:43:00.000-05:00

Somewhere over the rainbow way up high
Theres a land that I heard of once in a lullaby
Somewhere over the rainbow skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream do come true
Some day I'll wish upon a star and wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemon drops away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me
Somewhere over the rainbow blue birds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow why oh why can't I
Somewhere over the rainbow
That's where you'll find me
And all the dreams that you dare to dream do come true
Tonight.............Just fly........Fly with me

A teensy bit angry

2005-11-18T09:53:00.000-05:00

What the hell is wrong with all of my exes? Why are they all such fucking ass holes? Were they like this while I was going out with them? What the hell is their problem? I don't give a fuck that they all have new girl friends but why the fuck do they need to fucking flaunt it? They honestly have no life if all they try to do is making me jealous. FUCK ALL MY EX BOY FRIENDS!

2005-11-16T17:03:00.000-05:00

People think I should start writing my mass emails againa but I feel like they don't have much of a point to them. I mean sometimes I vent, sometimes I'm inspirational and other times I'm just writing for the hell of it.
Right now I'm writing to vent. So this year as many of you know I have decided to give up singing in my school. This has been really hard for me because I basically was a massive part of the choir for all of high school. I mean I still have Hazamir but it still kind of sucks. I'm sitting in here listening to the accopella sing. I mean the bottom line is that they're rather um, bad. I'm dying to give my input and critic but I can't because I'm so beyond not part of it. I think I would get too frustrated if I was there anyway.
So if I'm doing what I want because doing something else would aggrivate me then why am I not happy?

2005-11-09T22:19:00.000-05:00

I need 333 dollars. Any ideas?

2005-11-08T14:35:00.000-05:00

It's amazing how okay I feel right now and how okay I know I am. I'm just sitting in my room listening to Hanson. My SAT tutor just left. I brought up my scores by 50 already which means my chances of getting into Rutgers are starting to get rather good. I like feeling at peace. I really think this weekend changed me a lot. Or rather is just showed me that I could be the full me and be loved.
I cant wait for UYO on Friday. I love being loved!

This one is happy! (er)

2005-10-21T12:18:00.000-04:00

So I've been told that my posts latley have been a bit depressing. Yeah, I can see where that's true. I've been around. I've been up and down. So I'll try to stay on the positive side more.
Well as much as I tried to avoid going it turns out that I'm going on HMS in two weeks from today. It's a little bit crazy. Why was I trying to avoid it? Because I don't want to confront some people and yeah. That's my only reason really. Well, I decided that if my dad said I could go then I would because well I didn't feel like making this decision so much. Then he said "do you want to go". And something came over me and I was like "yeah, yeah I do actually." So I'm going. Can't believe I'm doing this again. I guess I just really was unsatisfied about how the last one went for me in June. The thing is that by not going I'm being an idiot and I'm letting anger take the active role in my life to make me passive. But I'm being active now. I'm going. Oh lordy lordy. I'm going on HMS again in two weeks.
I'm also going on UYO the week after. I'm more looking forward to that one because I will probably get to see Rob again and I am older than last time lol. No one here gets that. Okay.
I don't know. Things have been okay latley. I'm procrastinating with college apps though which is bound to bite me in the ass but yeah. I turned 17 this past Monday so that's pretty cool. I'm going to simchaton on Monday which is also kind of fun. Speaking of which I need to pack now because I wont have time later. Um, much love to everyone. You know how to reach me if you need me or just feel like saying "hi".

2005-10-08T19:23:00.000-04:00

I'm so depressed. I wish I wasn't here. I wish everything would go away. I am so fucking depressed.

2005-10-06T10:16:00.000-04:00

I guess what scares me and makes me so angry is that I'm starting to feel like there is no future for me because my parents refuse to have this discussion about college with each other instead of through me. Now I don't try in school and I don't study and I'm just so depressed. It almost makes me scared. I hate everything now. And I feel totally alone. Omer is right, how the hell did I just go on UYO and still feel this way? Either I'm not as complete as I thought I was or I just hit reality a bit harder than I usually do. I want to be saved. I'll admit it, okay?
I want to be saved!

2005-10-03T16:42:00.000-04:00

Is the panic attack back in black? After only one day I have a relapse?
Don't tell me the world will get better as I get old. I know I am 16 I'm sick of being told!

2005-10-02T23:46:00.000-04:00

And right now I'm at peace!

2005-09-21T20:25:00.000-04:00

HAHA I love Omer
ONeumeie: y don't u have a house party
ONeumeie: I'll bring a keg
minimunchcin: haha
minimunchcin: I wish
ONeumeie: y not u'r crazy party gal
ONeumeie: I heard stories...
ONeumeie: that party a year and a half ago.... i hear the goose was never the same again
minimunchcin: haha that's bc it was dipped in chocalate and serves with bananas
ONeumeie: that doesn't sound kosher at all

2005-09-18T00:05:00.000-04:00

The second I get back home it like all comes back. It's like being on drugs but missing the ectasy of the high.

The World is Closing In!!!!

2005-09-16T09:51:00.000-04:00

1) I have so much homework I could cry. I just got 4 Hamlet assignments and it's driving me crazy.
2) My parents are being totally difficult with college because they wont fucking talk to each other and now I don't know what to do because the school "doesn't want to get involved".
3) This whole raft situation is just getting worse and worse. I don't know who is being honest with me and who's not.
4) I have an unveiling on Sunday but I have loads of homework to do this weekend and I really need to take a couple hours tomorrow night to just relax before I explode.
5) I keep getting really sad. I think I feel lonley or something.
"As the world falls away and I can't find a reason. As the world turns to grey. It's killing me, willingly, and I am just the same as you."
-Seether

2005-09-15T15:10:00.000-04:00

And hello to the day again. I want to see Seether! There needs to be more tickets. There just needs to!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2005-09-12T18:18:00.000-04:00

It's just one of those days when you don't want to wake up. Everything is fucked. Everybody sucks. You don't really know why but you want to justify ripping someone's head off.....It's all about the he said she said bull shit.

2005-09-07T07:06:00.000-04:00

Fine, Rachel, I wont kill the world. But only because I love you.
BTW everyone, today is my first official day as a High School Senior.
*as sarcastic as possible* woo hoo

2005-09-06T16:07:00.000-04:00

I want to fucking kill the fucking world!!!!!!!!!!!!

2005-09-05T15:21:00.000-04:00

This is my last day down the shore. I just came out of the shower. I went swimming today for like 20 minutes. It's not as much as I went on Friday and Sunday but I think I got more soaked through and through today than I did with both of the days combined. I'm also pretty tan which is good considering school starts tomorrow. With a tan I may actually look good for once.
So what has me down do you ask?
Tonny is leaving for Israel tonight. I can't stop thinking about it. I really am going to miss him more than anyone could ever believe. He has been my strength since March and the thought of going a year without seeing him is really sad. Tonny, I love you. Please be safe. I am going to miss you more than you can ever know. I love you!

2005-09-04T20:15:00.000-04:00

Day number three down the shore. Going crazy. I want my computer. School starts in like 2 days. Oy.

2005-09-03T22:23:00.000-04:00

Okay so I am on hour like 36 down the shore now. The weather is beautiful and I am like half dead because I have been reading friggin school books all day. I'm really happy though I must admit. I got a call yesturday from someone I like but that will remain unamed and if you want to know who then you need to email me and ask. But yeah, he made me happy. We were talking about NCSY and I was coming up with a bunch of excuses of why I may not be able to go to so many shabbatons and he's like "stop talking and listen". He told me that he wanted me to go to shabbatons if he was going and it was just really sweet and it made me really happy. And yeah smile :) :) :) Email me if you want my fun details of me being like a total girl. Love you all.

2005-09-01T12:10:00.000-04:00

9 months! 9 months! Tra la la la la la!

2005-09-01T11:57:00.000-04:00

Doing some soul searching about why I've been so down for so long. Of course I kind of hate that I've been playing it off like I'm okay to most of my friends. But I guess I just don't want anyone to feel like I need to be saved or anything. The truth is that it's a stress overload so I'm just going to get some things out of my mind by posting them! K? K! Good.
1) A certain person has been in my life for a little while now. He tells me that I have no friends and that he doesn't want me around. I hate it. I know I should tune it out but it's near impossible. I mean think about it. He tells me like at least twice a day. It has me so upset.
2) SATs! I don't get why no one can understand that I will never do well on them. No matter how hard I try I will ultimatley fail SATs. Which leads us to....
3) College. I don't think I will ever get into music school or anything like that. And right now I think the chances of me getting into anything are slim to none. Everyone is so excited about Senior Year and I am beyond dreading it. Is something wrong with me? Oy.
Well that's all I figured out right now. But it's good that I got that all off my system. BTW, you didn't actually need to read this. I was just venting.

2005-08-30T09:18:00.000-04:00

Who would like to know the "would you rather of the day"?

Would you rather be ugly but never die or be pretty and mortal?
Hard question, yeah?
I choose pretty but die. Who's surprised? Raise your hand!

2005-08-29T21:20:00.000-04:00

All my friends are in Israel or College or are going to Israel or College.
OY

2005-08-26T08:24:00.000-04:00

I actually have pretty hair. And I actually look kind of okay!
WOAH

2005-08-25T08:33:00.000-04:00

I've decided that one of the most annoying things in the world is when you can't figure out how to change your voicemail message and right when you think you got it you actually didn't.
Other annoying things in life:
Not having a computer to go on aol
Being too nervous to call people that you know you want to call, therefore needing the aol to talk to them
Not being sure about how short to cut your hair
Not knowing what color
Having a tummy ache.

We'll finish this later.

I love being home. If you want to hang then call the cell.

2005-08-24T13:29:00.000-04:00

And I'm home from camp. i got back on Nesher but I didn't get a chance to post until now. Just want to say that you can call me whenever. I'm home and free and yeah. Cool! I miss you all.

2005-06-23T17:16:00.000-04:00

So today is slightly less aggrivating. Well right now anyway. This morning kind of sucked major monkey but you know how it is. So, I just came back from getting my hair done because I'm going away this weekend. Let's see, what else? Oh, I fixed my black nail polish and finished my Dvar Torah! Yay! Anyway, I'm going to get going. If you want my camp address you know what to do. Adios Muchachos.

2005-06-23T00:37:00.000-04:00

Those with sensitive hearing please cover your ears!AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
k, that's a bit better. Good night. Sleep tight. Dream about space monkeys doing the hula and then giving you machine guns to kill off people who are pissing you off tonight.

2005-06-22T15:57:00.000-04:00

So, here I am down the shore with Ariella. We have a long weekend ahead of us and I'm getting my hair cut tomorrow. I'm starting to think that the weekend is a mistake but I always feel that way whenever I'm about to do something. I feel like there is so much on my mind and I'm really nervous about it. Argth!!!!!
Anyway, so for the first time ever I will be a counselor at a sleep away camp a week from today. I'm really nervous about it. I hope I do well. If you want my address for camp you better start emailing me to ask for it. The way to do it is comment that you want it and I get the comment and then I'll give it. Lots of love to you all if this is my last post before I go to camp. Have a great summer.

2005-06-12T11:43:00.000-04:00

This is the society we live in. We are a generation of spoiled teenagers who are never satisfied with what we have. We are a generation of parents who are always worried. We are a generation of grandparents who seem to be helping out our children so much that we don't know what will happen to us. We are a generation of men who cheat on our wives and pay child support. We are a generation of women who wear skimpy clothing and then complain when we are looked at. We are a generation of children, terrified of what comes next and wishing to be so much more than we are.
I don't understand why we can't just be happy with what we have. I don't understand why I can't be satisfied. But no, I am not the teenager. I'm worried about everything and I do everything I can to make things easier with money. But no, I am not the parent or the grandparent. I am not as loyal as I could be. But no, I am not the man. And I hate to be looked at because of what I look like even though I flaunt. But no, I not the woman. I am terrified. Of everything. I try so hard to be strong when I know I'm not. I want to sing. I want to be happy. And in the end I know that all I am is a child!

2005-06-08T13:48:00.000-04:00

So I've been in a totally horrible mood today and I'm not totally sure why.

2005-06-06T19:54:00.000-04:00

Okay so I have a few things to write about.
First thing....I finally have my address for the summer so if you want it then email me or comment that you want it. My email is preppygoth13@yahoo.com
Second thing.....We seriously need to decide on a name for me. Here are the choices.
1) Beth
2) BethAnne
3) Fina (I love you Leeshy)
4) Munchcin (Yeah Adina and Dovid. I put it in here just for you guys.)
Third thing.....Omg I have so many things on my mind right now. The thing is that as you know whenever I have things on my mind I can't say it in English. So here is the french version. Good luck with the translation. And comment if you think you got it.
Je ne sais pas si c'est la valeur est dans l'amour avec vous. Je sais que vous sentez quelque chose vers moi mais moi ne sait pas combien. Je me demande si que nous disons nous réaliserons. Je me demande si les choses seront akward entre nous ou si vous vraiment serez avec moi. Je sais que j'ai tendance à avoir un niveau bas estime automatiquement mais j'ai besoin de se demander. Vous me savez si j'espère que vous comprenez. J'ai besoin d'entendre de vous où nous nous tenons. Je déteste les doutes ayant. Je sais que je me sens vers vous et je sais que je veux avec vous. Mais je devine c'est jusqu'à vous maintenant et j'ai juste besoin de voir ce qu'arrive. Mais vous me savez. Je veux savoir que tout et est préparé au meilleur. ......or le pire.
Fourth thing.....Congratulations to all of my MTA boys. I'm so proud of you. Special shout outs to Aaron and Tonny. I love you guys.
So comment people. No one ever comments and it makes me sad.

2005-06-03T11:06:00.000-04:00

Parfois être dans l'amour est un burdon et l'un ne peut pas aider mais peut demander s'ils le veulent. Mais le plus je pense de lui le plus fou il fait ne. Et en plus, j'ai besoin de le garder me.

2005-06-01T11:29:00.000-04:00

I almost don't know if I want to type up everything from the weekend because a lot of moments were more something felt than something that can be put into words but I'm going to try my hardest.
So Friday morning I got to travel around NY all by myself to go tot the train station. I was terrified of going but it ended up being really cool and I was friggin proud of myself. And then I saw Ariela and omfg that was so nice. I LOVE YOU ARIELA! And then I saw Ben and like I can't even explain how unbelievably happy I was to see him. I LOVE YOU BEN!
We took the train together to Stamford where we waited for the bus. I met Bex who is so friggin cool (congrats on regional board) and I met Brittany. I love you Brittany. Brittany and I hung out for so much of the shabbaton and it was so awesome.
So when the bus got there Tonny got off the bus and omg I was bursting with joy and I was just so happy to see him. And then Dovid pulled up in a taxi and I was just like floating I was so happy to see everyone. So I got on the bus and I sat in the front and Dovid went up to talk to me for a while. It was really nice and deffinitley has a major lasting impact because he helped me achieve what I wanted which was to have a kick ass time in my new self and just be comfterble and meet new people. I LOVE YOU DOVID. Thank you for all of your help this weekend.
Oh, then we had ice breakers and I was sitting with people I know to which Dovid gave me a look because I was doing exactly what I didn't want to do but whatever. So then we had color war and I'm thinking "color war? oh lord strike me with lightning". I was being a bit cynical for that but whatever. I ended up meeting a lot of new people during that and it was good. Then we had some free time and I walked around with Rachie for a lot of it and then we all got ready for shabbat. I wore yellow and black and I think I looked pretty cute. We got write shabbat-o-grams but I didn't write a lot. I think I wrote to Tonny, Dovid and Ben. But they were all heart felt so it was okay. I tried being anti social during pre shabbat ruach but I got really sad doing that so during dinner I was being social. I sat with Adina, Tonny and Brittany. I think other people also but I can't remember right now.Then we had Dr. Schmill which was really funny because all of us HMS people were like "wow deja vu". And then we had free time for a while and after having a major talk with Brittany we went into the kumzitz which then moved into a gazebo for chulent which was really good. It was very nice but the downside was I was already losing my voice. So then I said good night to Tonny and Charles and gave the girls hugs and went to sleep.
Saturday I woke up and davened for a while and then there was kiddush and I spoke to Devorah (I LOVE YOU DEVORAH) and Dovid for a bit. Afterwards I went over to the cyber minyan with Ben which was totally awesome. After that we had lunch and I sat with my girl Brittany again. Then we had some major freetime so my highlights of that were interesting actually. At first I was walkind around with Brittany but then I got really anti social and I was walking through the chadar ochel and Dovid noticed me so he and I went to talk in the other room and then we were talking and walking around. It was nice. I like my converstations with him because it helps me think and put things in perspective. So then he went to go talk with Adina and I went to go play Mafia where they decided to kill me and Rachel Baker. But we both had a lot of fun anyway. Then I was hanging out with Tonny and Charles for a while. I LOVE YOU CHARLES. And that was nice. Then we had our skips which were totally crazy and so much fun. And then I don't remember so much so lets skip to Seudah Shlishit where I hung out with Hinda who is so friggin crazy but totally awesome. Yeah Salsa Chips Hokey Pokey! Then there was ebbing. I decided not to participate in that but it was really moving anyway. I met Katie there and that was kool. Saturday night was a lot of fun. Ben was am-friggin-azing!
(oy Im getting sick of typing so lets skip to Sunday) Sunday was great and loads of fun. I got to play hockey. Tonny didn't get any in *stick out tounge* but that's okay because he kicked major buttox in the batting cages. I got in two of my goals so that was pretty good. Then we had lunch and major free time. So I spent the first half just walking around and hanging out with Katie and then I wasn't feeling well so I went to sleep. The next part of the shabbaton from when I woke up to when I hung out with Tonny will be left blank but if you really want to know you can ask me. So then I hung out with Tonny for a hour. It was cool. There were other people around a bit but we still got to talk and then he totally made my day by doing something for me that I've been wanting forever and omg I LOVE YOU TONNY! I wrote him a letter. It made him cry which is good because it made me cry while I was writing it. Then he went to go change and I hung out with Chicky, Ducky and Eitan. Which was just so much fun I can't even describe it.
Then I went to change for banquet. Tonny finished his Nashim thing (dont know what it's called) and he did really well which was totally awesome. Then we were all taking pictures. So I took a really pretty one with Shifra, Bex, Lauren, Abby and Brittany. Then I took a couple with just Lauren and Brittany. I took one with Hinda. One with Tonny. One with Charles and a couple more that I can't think of right now. Then there was the HMS picture which was totally fun because it was just a group of people and not many people knew what the theme of the picture was. We screamed out "I" and "personal power" which was just so funny I can't even explain it. So, yeah, Banquet was awesome. Tonny got Keter Shem Tov which I knew he really wanted and I was so happy for him I was about to cry. Then we had this circle thing where we passed around the candle and spoke about the shabbaton and said thank you to people. I wont go into what I said here but I just want to say thank you again to everyone from NER. You guys really made a difference in my life. Then we went to say Maariv. I stopped at Shma Koleinu for at least ten minutes and I was just crying out to god like I've never done before in my life. I was pleading with him and I was just putting all of me into it. When I moved the siddur away from my face I noticed that I had been crying and there was eye makeup all over the pages of the siddur. So then there was the kumzitz until 4 in the morning and it was totally awesome. I got to talk to Shifra and she did something amazing for me which I doubt she will ever know. She is truley an amazing girl and I will really treasure my time with her.
Monday was awesome. It was all slow. We didn't really do so much. I was crying so much saying good bye to everyone. I sat with Tonny on the bus ride home. We talked and cried. Then I just made my way around the bus and had a good time. Saying good bye to Tonny was the hardest thing I did all weekend. I was trying to hold myself back from crying. I was trying so hard not to beg him to see me again before he goes to EY when we talked. I was trying so hard. And then when he boarded the bus and it drove away I was gone. Tonny, I don't know if I will ever be able to explain how much you mean to me. I love you so much. With all of my heart. You will always be one of my best friends.
Then we all took the train back to NY and that was a lot of fun. I got to eat my ouce cream. Ari and Aaron find that hysterical btw. I went back to Adina's and we went out to dinner and we saw Ari and Jeff and that was awesome. I also saw Tonny's roomate. That was cool. I actually ended up being able to hang out with my boo Aaron Katz for a hour. I looooooooooooooved hanging out with him. It was so much fun.
Anyway, I just had such an amazing weekend and thank you to all of you who contributed to it. I love you all more than you will ever know. And now I'm crying because the weekend really is over but I feel as though it has a lasting effect on me. Seriously, thank you so much.
I love you.
Love,
Beth

2005-05-26T09:17:00.000-04:00

While my cynisism and sarcasm may be a bit dramatized I must say that today I have an excuse.
My computer broke like a week and a half before finals. I think that my hard drive died which would suck considering that I have a lot of things on there that I've written and havn't saved and I really really don't want to lose it. Oy I'm so upset.
Well at least there are a couple good things going on right now. Spring Regional is tomorrow so I get to see a lot of my friends that I havn't seen in a few months and tonight I get to stay in NY which is starting to become like my favorite place in the world btw. And now I must run to class. I hate class. Do you? Damn you people who are done with school already! (Except for Leeshy. I like her.)

2005-05-23T11:14:00.000-04:00

Is my cynisism and sarcasm starting to get to any of you because it's seriously starting to get to me!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

2005-05-21T23:26:00.000-04:00

BEST FREUDIAN SLIP IN THE HISTORY OF EVER
OY TONNY, WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO WITH ME?
minimunchcin: but i would h/u with him in a sex
minimunchcin: sec*
FonZThEIV: right
minimunchcin: woah freudian slip to the extreme
FonZThEIV: haha yup i was just thinking that

2005-05-20T19:21:00.000-04:00

Princess! You are a dreamer, waiting for a Prince
to rescue you.

What type of Disney character are you?
brought to you by

2005-05-18T07:23:00.000-04:00

Hey this is Needa Torah and the results are in.............
DRUM ROLES PLEASE............................
The winner is.......................................................
NER

2005-05-16T16:07:00.000-04:00

Regional Watch 2005 continues with an update from the mumsykins. Good afternoon everyone, I'm your host Needa Torah. And that's Torah. Not Whorah! She says that I'm being responsible so she is going to extend my deadline of finding out what regional I'm going to. So now I'm just putting in a little extra to my Shma Koleinu and hoping I can go to NER where I can be with all of my HMS peeps. Time for history. This has been another update from Needa Torah. Keeping it real yo!

ner or etz chaim?

*cast your vote.

2005-05-16T15:17:00.000-04:00

Hello and welcome back to Regional Watch 2005. I'm your host Needa Torah. As some of our current viewers may know we have an extra special guest on the show. Her name is Ariela (applause). And we have an update......Drum Role Please!
I need to wait till Wednesday or Thursday to find out if I can have the scholarship and if they have the money then I got it and I can go! The question is, will my mom be cool with that?
This has been another Regional Watch 2005 exclusive. This is Needa Torah and may you never be without a torah when you have the need.

Ner or Etz Chaim?

2005-05-16T13:17:00.000-04:00

Okay so that post just gave me an idea!

*clears throat* Hello everybody and welcome to regional watch 2005! Live straight from Ms. Weinstock's office. I'll be your host Needa Torah (clap here). This is the show where we all sit around and see what will happen first. Will Beth find out about ner first? Or will she go insane and be sent to the loony bin? Except that's not really what the show's about so lets try again. This is the show where we wait and wait and wait and wait to find out if Beth is going to ner or etz chaim........ You can cast your votes in the comments but I'll warn you now. Your opinion may not make a difference! It's sad but it's true. But I love you all anyway. Well actually, not you! But I love you! And yeah I don't really like you all that much! But them, oh I love them.

etz chaim or ner?

2005-05-16T13:11:00.000-04:00

I am totally border line insane today.
It's half waiting to find out about the regionals. (Because I need to know today oy) And half being unbelivably tired. I found out that food gives me more energy than coffee. So some may think this is a good thing but um no not really. *
*yeah carbs! Hello Diet.

You know what song I like but I don't know the whole thing? We're tiny We're toony We're all a little loony and in this cartoony we're invading your tv............ Whoever knows the whole thing and posts it in my comment wins a prize. But the prize is TBA. Same with the animaniacs song. All i know to that one is "Here come the animaniacs and we're zainy to the max". Yeah, except that that's wrong too. So post it and you win a prize.

Tell me about regional and you win a hug of any type! So the question remains. Will it be NER or Etz Chaim?

2005-05-15T20:48:00.000-04:00

OMG! Kick ass day with Tonny! I love you so so so much! I had so much fun!
Tonny-I spoke to my mother about regional and she said I could only go if I managed to get a scholarship like I get for mine and she said I need to figure it out by tomorrow night or I need to go to mine. I have no idea how that is going to work because I hate calling NCSYs. Want to help me figure that out? It really sucks that I only have until tomorrow but that's my mom. So, we really need to figure it out like fast. Sorry. But I had such a great day. Thanks! Call me cellie.

Etz Chaim or Ner?

2005-05-13T13:54:00.000-04:00

So I havn't written in a bit so I'm writing now.
Hmm....where to start? Well, I guess I can start from the beginning (it's a very good place to start afterall). Monday nothing interesting happened but I had a sick hockey practice and I got in three goals when I was playing defense! That was kick ass. It also pissed off the offense. Haha, I offended the offense. Okay, I'm deffintley the only person that finds that funny.
Tuesday we had a game against Hillel. We lost but it was fun. Katie and I made a really funny rap to get hyped for the game. Guess it didn't work so well. It was fun anyway. But Hillel's floor.....omfg. It's rubber. I think I could've played easier on a condom!
Um nothing interesting happened Wensday. I had college night. I checked out Rutgers, University of Maryland and Binghamton. End Result---I'm not getting into college.
Yesturday I left school early and pissed off like the entire administration. That was kind of fun. I like days like that. When I got home I slept for two hours. My body feels so weak latley that I can't really do anything. I don't think that's a good thing.
And today nothing interesting has happened that I can put in English so here's a little bit of fun for all you French speaking people.
J'avais seulement 20 minutes de classe entièrement aujourd'hui. Je vraiment ai été si ennuyé mon ami et je suis allé m'asseoir dehors parce qu'elle attendait ce gars pour venir la choisit en haut. Quand il est venu je suis levé m'aller à l'intérieur s'il m'a offert un tour à la maison. Oh m'épargner, il est si mignon ! Mais un gars comme que ne serait jamais dans moi. Trop mauvais. Donc triste. En fait mon ami d'ex-garçon reste à la maison de mon ami ce weekend parce que ses parents sont en déplacement. Je ne peux pas décider si c'est drôle ou bizarre. A propos, ma vie pathétique d'amour vraiment me commence à obtenir. Je ne a pas embrassé n'importe qui puisque février et je vraiment veux à. Pense que vous pouvez aider hors ? Me permettre de savoir. le baiser de baiser!
Anyway, I'm gonna end this. Send replies because they entertain me. Just a little shout out before I go. I love you Tonny! I hope I get to see you Sunday but I don't get the schedule thingy. Just more proof that I am a pathetic product of suburbia!

2005-05-09T22:26:00.000-04:00

Henry is leaving me! They are making me go a week without advil. But I love Henry. Oh Henry come back!

2005-05-06T16:01:00.000-04:00

If you know French then you get to know about my life. If not then :( for you!

J'écris ceci en français parce que j'ai besoin d'obtenir ceci hors mais je ne veux pas qu'ait compris que j'écris. Je suis si dans l'amour avec quelqu'un ou au moins je pense que je suis. Il habite au loin bien qu'et il me fait vraiment triste. Il dit que si nous avons habité plus près ce serait plus mais je toujours me demande si cela est en fait vrai ou s'il est juste le disant. Je pense c'est vrai bien que. Je veux plus. Je pourrais le voir en juin et je vraiment espère que quelque chose arrive. Je ne peux pas l'obtenir de mon esprit.

2005-04-19T14:54:00.000-04:00

I'm exempt from my Psycology Final! And I'm the only one in my class that is! Now that's using personal power!

2005-04-18T10:19:00.000-04:00

Here is the second part to the poem I just posted......
(btw just a public service, I'm not going to be online much for the next couple of weeks so it would be great if you felt like calling my cell every now and then)

Nothingness in water color: Part 2
The nothingness in water color is more than what it seems
It's really just another mask on a totally hopeless dream
It's just a rain on my parade and everything that's good
I try to understand the world when I know I never could
The water is getting thicker and it's hard to get past
The color was getting bright but of course it didn't last
And there's a spill on the canvas that used to be pure art
Everything's destroyed and there's no place to start
The nothingness is getting stronger and pushing it all away
The nothingness is the pain that I feel everyday
And suddenly there is no beauty when I started to think there was
Suddely I can't find the one thing that I loved
Water color comes and goes and it's never twice the same
But my water color protrait is a reflection of my pain
-BethAnne Prupis Kern

2005-04-17T23:11:00.000-04:00

This is copyrighted so don't even think about it. I wrote it earlier tonight.

The nothingness in water color has me all confused
Its blurred and careless and makes me feel used
The greens seep in to blue like they dont even care
The sun stands by itself because it thinks no one is there
Spills are made into beauty even though theyre totally a mess
The paint is there for show and the artist does the rest
The water movement has a life of its own that it takes
Not knowing that the water was just a mistake
The color is pointless because it all blends into one
Although thats the way friendship should be done
One mistake and I feel like its the end
One mess up and I lose my closest friend
One wrong word and all is gone
One bad night and suddenly Im all wrong
The water makes it worse and makes me drown
I just want to put my feet back on the ground
The nothingness of water color just seems so bad
But all of that nothingness is all Ive ever had
-BethAnne Prupis Kern

2005-04-17T00:59:00.000-04:00

okay I like personality tests way too much

Underworld personality test
DraculaYou scored 27 as a bloodthirsty Vampire,8 as Death him/herself,13 points toward being a shape-shifter,and 15 as a howling, murderous Werewolf!
The Count.. ah-ah-ah-AAAAAH. The only person that can get away with wearing a top-hat and sucking blood simultaneously. The most sexual of the underworld, you live for the hunt, and hunt to live. Whether you choose to take on the form of a mist, wolf, bat or just some creepy-looking old guy, you can do it with style. Do you have a blood fetish? Cause I'm guessing it's highly possible. Well don't get caught, or you'll look like Gary Oldman here. (Actually it looks like he got caught looking at his porn stash.)

Are you a good kisser test
The tempterCongratulations! You scored 75%!
You Know all The tricks My friend. calm and confident there's no one you cant please. you love a good time and usally are the one who makes it good!

Does Starbucks own your soul test
Quad Tall LatteStarbucks has 68% of your soul!
Whoa. You need a meeting. You walk in, order your tall latte and have exact change. The girl behind the counter asks you about Little Johnny's first day of Kindergarden and you send each other Christmas cards. Go to that meeting. If not for your addiction, then to save your soul.

2005-04-15T09:57:00.000-04:00

Jimmy Eat World: The Middle
Hey
don't write yourself off yet
It's only in your head you feel left out or looked down on
just try your best
try everything you can
and don't you worry what they tell themselves when you're away
Hey
you know they're all the same
you know you're doing better on you're own so don't buy in
live right now
just be yourself
it doesn't matter if it's good enough for someone else
It just takes some time
little girl, you're in the middle of the ride
everything everything will be just fine
everything everything will be all right
Do your best
do everything you can
don't you worry what their bitter hearts are gonna say

That's what I need to remember right now. It just takes some time. Little girl, you're in the middle of the ride. Everything everything will be just fine. Everything Everything will be all right.

2005-04-14T18:34:00.000-04:00

minimunchcin: why are the boys that like the ones that live far?
Tybot123: Cuz you live in a bad neighbourhood and should move to WH o.o
minimunchcin: lol

HAHA I love you Ty!

So guess what guys! We had a game last night and we...........won!
I bet you thought I was going to say that we lost. Well damn you for being so cynical. Hehe and that's coming from me of all people.

2005-04-11T21:35:00.000-04:00

And I'm sympathetic never letting on I feel the way I do as I'm falling apart again at the seam. -Seether

2005-04-05T22:25:00.000-04:00

8-0
We lost.
I played my heart out.
Damn!

2005-04-03T00:57:00.000-05:00

OKay so I just had the most kick ass night in the world. I love my real friends. Ha, sence some anger in my compliment? Blarg, major stuff going on that i need to figure out that I can only work on with some people. You know who you are if you're one of those people. I kind of need you quite a bit. It's like, listen, I'm scared to go to you for help and I'm scared to tell you how much you help me. You really do help me get through the day. you point out things about me that I never noticed before. I need your help to get me through it and get me to change it. I don't even know why I'm saying this. I guess it's because I desperatley need you in my life and I'm scared to go directly to you and ask. I'm done now with that whole topic.
Oy, Tonny, I love you so much. Today was awesome. We need to do it again.

Sunday, April 03, 2005
Oh My Gosh
It's awesome to find out people actually daven for you...
posted by Karban Nesanel at 00:54 1 comments
Anytime baby. You know how much I love you!

Okay I need friends that are a bit more sain than this....Not true, I love my friend. He's just a bit interesting. I love you but putting children in ovens is a very bad idea!
censored : shouldve babysat me instead
minimunchcin: how much would you have paid me
censored: that doesnt matter
censored: i woudl ahve been more fun
minimunchcin: really now? how so
censored: i think ucould think of some ways
minimunchcin: maybe
minimunchcin: I still think I should get paid though
censored: ok, but noy by me
minimunchcin: how come?
censored: because
minimunchcin: because why?
censored: whad u do witht he kids?
minimunchcin: watched barnie, read them a book and then put them to sleep
censored: whoah
censored: theyre lucky im not their sitter
minimunchcin: how come?
censored: well first, i wouldve whipped them
censored: then id have staged a free for all
minimunchcin: hmm, want to babysit me?
minimunchcin: lol
censored: then id put them in the oven.
minimunchcin: okay change my mind

2005-04-01T14:39:00.000-05:00

I wonder if it's bad to wish pain on so many people. Really, I just wish it off of myself. I know that I'm not a good person. This is nothing new to me, okay? So I decided to write a poem putting myself down because apparently all of this is true about me.
Unmask Me
I know I'm mean to people. I tend to make people feel like shit. I do it so often that you have no reason to think I don't mean it. But I feel so alone now. I feel cornered by myself. Can't you see that all my tough girl stuff is just a call for help?
No one really knows how lost I am until it's too late. No one else can feel my heart burning. It's searing with hate. No one will understand why I feel the way that I do. You think you know me. What makes you think I want you to?
I know I can change. You want me to change the way I see things. But all you see is positive and I can see the negative tomorrow will bring. You'll never accept me because you just can't leave the past behind. You don't know the real me and that's something you'll never find.
I don't want to be alone. Please, don't let me go on like this. I live in a broken home. Please don't let me go on like this. I know I yell at you. But I'm doing it out of fear. I don't want to be alone. Please don't leave me alone here.
I know I'm poisinous. I make it hard for you to like me. But I'm wearing a mask. There's so much underneath I wish you could see. I know I don't give a reason for you to give me a chance. Please don't judge me. I just want another chance.
Don't be tricked by the numerous games I play. I'll be different just like all of you pray. Don't be fooled by all of the things I do. Get to know me. If you really think that you want to.

2005-03-31T13:58:00.000-05:00

So this is what my day has been like thus far.....
1st period: Test (which I finished in ten minutes) and then I left.
2nd period: wrote 3 essays
3rd period: Took a test on Tuesday but the rest of my class didn't so I got a free.
4th period: I had a hockey game last night (which we won) and I have practice tonight so I got a free.
5th period: We did this thing in Hebrew where we learnt how to make bracelets.
6th period: Lunch aka Free
7th period: Discussion class
8th period: Teacher not here but he gave us work aka Free.
9th period: Same as above.
That's my day so far. Afterwards I have Mincha and then history which wont be a free and forensics which is basically always a free.
Why do I come to school? (Because I have hockey but that was a rhetorical question) Call my cell and save me from my boredom!

2005-03-30T21:25:00.000-05:00

(for those with sensitive hearing please cover ears)
We Won! Wooooooo! Go Cobras!
5-0 Shut out baby! Wooooo!
We fucking Rock!
Wooooooooooooooo!

2005-03-29T19:01:00.000-05:00

The only thing I love more than my stupidity is Adina!
minimunchcin: my bologna has a first name it's......
ayb575: oscar!
minimunchcin: omg, I was about to tell you that you were wrong but then it occured to me that o-s-c-a-r spells oscar
ayb575: lol, good job

2005-03-27T01:27:00.000-05:00

I love you Tonny. Your strength gets me through so much. You're awesome!
FonZThEIV (7:59:46 AM): "I need a constant reminder that I'm going to be okay but I mean is that really such a bad thing?"In responce to my away message while I was sleeping....
no its not a bad thing BethAnne.........you're going to be ok hun. more than that, you'll be great. you'll be awesome. you are awesome

I'm Smaert. I mean Smarte. Wait, Smart! Got it!
minimunchcin: hey highny (short for highness dont get any neurotic ideas)
minimunchcin: of course saying highness prob wouldve been shorter
minimunchcin: wtvr
minimunchcin: hi
LethaLithuanian: u could ust say "hey" for short instead
minimunchcin: that works too
minimunchcin: but where's the fun in that?

2005-03-25T16:59:00.000-05:00

More Times With My Beloved Latisha/Tonny
minimunchcin: btw *whisper* i do not know my way around the city at all
FonZThEIV: its ok me neither really
minimunchcin: so what will we do? just hang?
FonZThEIV: yeah
minimunchcin: lol considering we cant find our way around the city
FonZThEIV: well if we wanted to do something im sure we could figure it out
minimunchcin: actually im not so sure but we could try to figure out which of course would promise to be very entertaining

minimunchcin: I dont even know my right from my left lol
FonZThEIV: thats cuz you have a hangover
minimunchcin: well it's worse now because I have a hang over but in general I dont know my right from my left
FonZThEIV: oh... hehe
minimunchcin: yeah yeah yeah I may be pathetic on many levels but Im way cute
FonZThEIV: this is true
FonZThEIV: this is very true
minimunchcin: why am I so cute? I cant figure it out. But I am. Like I think Im really cute.
FonZThEIV: right
FonZThEIV: me too
FonZThEIV: well, you AND me
minimunchcin: we are damn cute!
FonZThEIV: yeah baby!
FonZThEIV: and hot
minimunchcin: and sexy
FonZThEIV: uh huh
minimunchcin: everyone wants us
FonZThEIV: this is true
FonZThEIV: dont you love being hot/sexy/cute?
minimunchcin: oh yes I do
FonZThEIV: yeah its awesome

FonZThEIV: if we dont talk til tmrw, have an awesome rest of purim, and such a bangin shabbos
FonZThEIV: and by bangin i dont mean having sex
FonZThEIV: i mean, bangin like awesome
minimunchcin: how about both?
minimunchcin: lol
FonZThEIV: hehe
FonZThEIV: no
FonZThEIV: i love and miss you BA!
I love you Latisha!

2005-03-25T16:58:00.000-05:00

Best Fucking Song Ever
Ingam Hill "Will I Ever Make It Home"
I woke up from my sleep to the sound of that voiceFrom the words that I heard I had no choiceThey told me I had to turn aroundMy assurance slowly faded downAnd I wonder
Will I ever make it homeWill I ever leave the groundLeave this place so far behindThe plans that I had were quickly destroyedThe problem was one I couldn't avoidThey welcomed me to stay overnightI'm too tired to complain so i just mightAnd I wonderWill I ever make it homeTo the place I recognizeFar from here and where I've beenAnd all the places that I've been shown
I ever make it homeCan they keep me here for goodWhere I hardly know a soulAnd my fear keeps going onMy weariness keeps growing insideMy patience is tarting to subsideAnd I hope I'll be there soonIt can't be long or I'll fall throughWill I ever make it homeWill I ever leave the groundLeave this place so far behindTill ther eis no turning backWill I ever make it home Get to where I wanna beFind the ones who wait for meTo the place where I belongWill I ever make it home

2005-03-24T13:50:00.000-05:00

Look! It's my Tonny-Bo-Bonny! (if you don't get this then go back to the February 28th post)
minimunchcin: the thing is that it actually freaked me out i totally forgot about the lions
FonZThEIV: huh?
FonZThEIV: forgot about the lions?
FonZThEIV: how is that possible?
minimunchcin: no clue
minimunchcin: hence "Ah the stupidity of me"
FonZThEIV: like you forgot its about lions?
minimunchcin: yeah
FonZThEIV: true, true
minimunchcin: something liek that
FonZThEIV: haha
FonZThEIV: wow, youre one of a kind BA
minimunchcin: true dat Latisha

minimunchcin: doing anything next sunday?
FonZThEIV: which next sunday?
FonZThEIV: apr 3?
minimunchcin: yeah
FonZThEIV: i dont think so
FonZThEIV: why?
minimunchcin: im going to be in the city again
FonZThEIV: ooooh yay
FonZThEIV: where?
minimunchcin: manhattan
FonZThEIV: no kidding
minimunchcin: i know lol
FonZThEIV: where in manhattan?
minimunchcin: i realized how stupid that was after i said it
FonZThEIV: woah
FonZThEIV: that should so def go in your blog
FonZThEIV: specially since i wanna be there again

2005-03-18T17:23:00.000-05:00

Look, Tonny put me in his blog. "And BethAnne, omg, wow, she changed soooo much, it was amazing." You are so sweet Tonny. I love you so much, thank you for everything. I miss you. Can't even explain how much I miss you. I love you Latisha.....oy, I'm feeling so feclemped. Talk amoungst yourselves.

LethaLithuanian: y didnt u go to hp?
minimunchcin: you werent so it wasnt worth it
minimunchcin: lol
minimunchcin: no im totally serious
LethaLithuanian: lol
LethaLithuanian: aww
LethaLithuanian: :-*

2005-03-06T14:41:00.000-05:00

All about me......
(censored): haha
(censored): ure fine
minimunchcin: oh I know I'm fine
minimunchcin: I'm so fine that I've been checking myself out in the mirror all day
(censored): so when we going to hook up again
(censored): hehe
minimunchcin: when did we hook up to begin with?
(censored): when are we going to hook up, again.
minimunchcin: oh dude
minimunchcin: I totally follow sentence structure

CynicalVampyress: i say we find bethy, period
minimunchcin: want to help?
CynicalVampyress: surely
minimunchcin: so how do we do this?
CynicalVampyress: ummm
CynicalVampyress: soul searchig!!! no idea
minimunchcin: lol i know that feeling
CynicalVampyress: yeah
minimunchcin: i dont think itll workC
ynicalVampyress: hmm
minimunchcin: can we start the bethy process over>?
CynicalVampyress: i think so

muzix3: *blink*
muzix3: Im so proud of you!
minimunchcin: thanks sweety
minimunchcin: it means a lot to me
muzix3: anything for you, pie :-)
minimunchcin: pie?
muzix3: you called me sweety
muzix3: I call you pie
minimunchcin: oh I totally see the connection (what)
muzix3: lol
.......and the mistery is solved.....
muzix3: you know how people say like sweety pie?
minimunchcin: oh I get it lol

*Caugh Caugh* ::taps mic.:: Is this thing on? Okay, good! March 6 has been the worst fucking day ever!

2005-03-05T15:41:00.000-05:00

More Health tips from Josh
Shotglass Kitten: I shopped at Hollister today.
Shotglass Kitten: -barfs-

Dankcg577: hey u
minimunchcin: do anything rebellious and law breaking tonight?
Dankcg577: na
Dankcg577: bowling
minimunchcin: You daredevil you
Dankcg577: lol

Good times with the Willster
minimunchcin: my friends are mad at me
..........: sorry
minimunchcin: yeah they all have collective reasons
minimunchcin: im too lazy to care
..........: Yeah, whatever
..........: People suck
minimunchcin: so do monkeys
..........: less
minimunchcin: have you ever seen a monkey porno? they suck a lot
minimunchcin: lol
..........: hahaha
..........: gross
minimunchcin: i know
minimunchcin: where did that come from?
minimunchcin: that's nasty
minimunchcin: ha got one unpissed
..........: good wokr
..........: *work
minimunchcin: it was good wokr too

2005-03-01T13:53:00.000-05:00

Anyone ever hear that song Candyshop? That is the most nasty song in the entire world. (But I love it.)
minimunchcin: I'll take you to the candyshop Ill let you lick the lollypop
xoxoariellaxoxo: lol.. 50 cent
xoxoariellaxoxo: the words are so fucked up but its funny
I'll take you to the candy shop. I'll let you lick the lollypop. Go head girl don't you stop. Keep going 'till you hit the spot.

The song is making my head act weird.....
minimunchcin: god im so addicting
minimunchcin: addicted*
minimunchcin: not addicting
muzix3: lol, yes you are
minimunchcin: addicting or addicted?
muzix3: HA HA HA addicting
minimunchcin: aw thanks baby

2005-02-28T16:24:00.000-05:00

Oh the stupidity of me
minimunchcin: im watching lionking2
minimunchcin: good movie
minimunchcin: ah lion
minimunchcin: not expecting that
minimunchcin: you know considering it's called lionking 2 and all

2005-02-27T01:49:00.000-05:00

So, I just got back from the Teaneck Shabbaton. It was kind of good. Probably could've been better but whatever. I had fun anyway. I always do. It's the way I am. Lets see how many short sentences I can write in one paragraph. Hmm, that was a long sentence. Damn!

Gotta love people messing up on key boards
BLinKnnParK182: im gonna go to ed
BLinKnnParK182: bed
BLinKnnParK182: ill ttyl
minimunchcin: say hi to ed for me
BLinKnnParK182: very funny
minimunchcin: i know right?
BLinKnnParK182: brilliant
minimunchcin: Thank you Thank you.

2005-02-25T13:02:00.000-05:00

My Favorite Guy in the Whole Wide World
minimunchcin: becasue i hate clothing
(censored): oh
(censored): hahahaha
(censored): why?
(censored): u look good in it
(censored): ..look good w/o it also
minimunchcin: *roles eyes*
minimunchcin: thanks

Oh the healthiness of Josh
minimunchcin: latley I've been into Weezer and the kinks
Shotglass Kitten: Emo slag
minimunchcin: Yeah basically
Shotglass Kitten: *projectile vomits*
minimunchcin: Well that sounds healthy
Shotglass Kitten: Yeah.

Shotglass Kitten: I don't wanna go to class today.
minimunchcin: sorry babes
Shotglass Kitten: But I have to.
minimunchcin: duh
Shotglass Kitten: Actually, I don't.
Shotglass Kitten: But I should.
Shotglass Kitten: GAH
Shotglass Kitten: I AM IN A PICKLE
minimunchcin: you mean you are a pickle
Shotglass Kitten: No.
Shotglass Kitten: I am IN a pickle.
minimunchcin: must be small in there
Shotglass Kitten: OMG
Shotglass Kitten: Throw yourself off a bridge for that comment.

2005-02-25T00:29:00.000-05:00

So here I am at 12:30 AM? Why the hell am I awake? I don't know. Why the hell are you awake? I've never actually had one of these before so I think I'll make it up as I go along. How does that work?
Already ran out of things to say. Well, this looks promising eh?