Sunday, December 10, 2006

So mother found this website last week. Not so bad. I don't think I've really said anything on here that I need to worry about. And what I feel the need to get out of my system right now she probably would be thrilled about.
I think I'm coming to realize that fake "highs" and really stupid. Like, I don't like drinking anymore. What's the point? I'm drunk for maybe a half hour and then the next morning my stomach bothers me. So some are like "yeah but you can hook up when you're drunk and not need to worry about it". I wont lie. That used to be appealing to me but last night when I had the oppurtunity I decided not to. Maybe it's because I'm starting to realize that I'm beginning to have feelings for someone real. Even if nothing happens with it I know I fuck up my chances by just hooking up randomly. I know what he's looking for and luckly it's the person I've been working on being since I moved out of Rocky's apartment. So this new information about myself sort of sucks because it means that the mindless partying wont really be so much fun for me anymore but it sort of rocks because it also means that I'm growing up and out of the things that I have been letting hurt me.

Friday, August 11, 2006

nervous nervous nervous.....

Oh by the way, they turned the student lounge into a couple of shrink offices. Well, they say guidance. I say "oh fuck". I'm out just in time.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

We Shall See

Sunday, August 06, 2006

Just a day just an ordinary day.....

but thats the problem isnt it?

Just trying to get by.....

the first step

Just a dream just an ordinary dream

Will you use your personal power

Oh the tangled webs we weave

And at 5:47 and the fact that I just got home and the night that I had.....
Tangled is an understatement.
The understatement of the year.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

The new theory is that I will never be good enough for those two so the rest of them that come alone I will do whatever I can to please them. There needs to be someone of their kind who thinks I'm perfect.....oh and who doesn't just want the obvious.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

There has been a lot going on latley. I'm just trying to believe it'll all be okay. It might. It might not.

Monday, July 31, 2006

As the world falls away and I can't find a reason
As the world turns to grey
It's killing me willingly and I am just the same as you

When you blink it'll all be over.